Back to work!

Happy New Year!

I think the New Year has brought in a refreshed energy in… I’m slowly getting my writing productivity back.

I just need to stay focused for like 2 hours straight, without getting distracted… which is proved to be slightly difficult whenever I’m stuck with words to write.

I have everything in my head! My thesis is perfectly presented in my head! But why does it look different on screen/paper?

Now that I think of it, I’m not even sure what’s interesting in my findings… Heck, my least favourite question from my supervisors: “So what’s new?”

When people say a PhD thesis does not have to be a Nobel prize-winning research or even ground-breaking, they are not lying. But they still expect to find something new and noble from the research… I find that the whole “what’s new” question is really non-meaningful at all.

I value more of the entire PhD process rather than the outcome of it though. I don’t think my supervisors think of it that way. All they have in mind is: get this student to finish, make sure the study is interesting, and, if the student is keen, lead the student to the publishing pathway and get their names on it. (The part about authorship is a really messy business, I reckon.)

Oh yeah, I have a relatively twisted view on the entire PhD thing. Apart from learning how to deal with academics, how to do a proper research, and how to write like a scholar, I can’t really find anything else that is attractive about doing research (especially in a university).

In short, I want out. But my pride is stopping me from quitting. I don’t want to give up halfway.

I still have less than 14 months to finish this. If I can complete an Honours thesis in 10 months, anything is possible!

Wondering if I can dodge any chance of meeting with either one or both of my supervisors (okay maybe reducing the number of meeting)…. I don’t want to get on the cycle of rewriting and ranting about it.

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