Breaking down

Finally broke down in tears yesterday… at home… after skyping with my parents. Feel so sorry to make my parents worry about me. My mom was so worried that she almost broke into tears too.

Not sure whether it’s the weather or the PMS, or I’m missing home and family.

But more likely, I finally realised that losing the supervisor that I’d worked with for 3 years is a bit too much to handle.

I think part of the reason I came into PhD is because of this supervisor. Now that she is leaving, I am feeling like a lost lamb. Questioning why on earth I came into PhD. A bit of me also felt that this is a betrayal of trust (not sure why I feel that way), and I’m just angry that this whole thing did not played out as well as I thought it would.

Not even sure what’s my next step going to be.

And then I realised the School has never been of any help either. No support whatsoever. Utterly disappointed with the system.

Can’t wait to hit the finishing line and leave this place for good.

March has been a dramatic month indeed. Haven’t been sleeping well after the fiasco broke. That probably might have affected my mood in general.

Having to put up a brave face to come into the office everyday is tiring me out as well.

But I’m determined to keep this brave face until the end of this PhD.


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