Just came back from a good break. Spent more time with my family and felt so much love from my parents.
Interestingly, I think June and July must be the traveling months for many academicians… unless they have to deal with examinations.
For now, my main supervisor is away on his conference trips (i think), which coincide with my approved study leave (yay!).
I’m still stuck with where I started a few months ago. Though I feel like I’m in a rut (most of the time) but I kind of learn to take things a bit easy and let the inspiration comes to me instead. Plus, my family members kept on telling me to take it easy and enjoy my remaining few months as a student.
Somehow, I just feel tired about feeling guilty all the time on not working on my thesis. And sometimes, I hate the perfectionist in myself.
And at times, I truly thought of giving up.
Of course, it’s just a “thought”. There’s something that still keep me in this journey, and I think it’s mostly my pride.
If I told my parents I am giving up, I think they will support me haha… I mean, they are really not the kind that push the kids to do well in exams. I think they believe that peer pressure will do all the work for them.
Anyways, next week I’m off again for a trip with my family. I know, it’s kind of silly to rant about my thesis when I jet myself from one country to another. Not complaining about the traveling part though. I just enjoy the times I can have a blank mind and just absorb non-academics things.
I can’t wait to finish my thesis. 8 months to go then!
Less than 10 months to go and my word count for my thesis is back to zero.
I am glad that the supervisor fiasco is all over (not really… I have a tad feeling it is not over yet) and to have proper supervision now. These two supervisors have put my work under the microscope and have been interrogating me in every meeting.
Then I realised there are just too many flaws in my thesis.
And I really don’t communicate well in spoken words. I tend to stay silent during the meeting, because I am too afraid to speak out. And I don’t know what to say.
Have to admit that I don’t see any sparkles that would excite me with my research at the moment.
Perhaps I need more time to find the sparkles back.
Just returned from a quick trip to Taipei, and I was really enjoying the flight time where I don’t think about my thesis, and just plain not doing anything but sleep, watch some movies, and try not to get nauseous.
But most of all, I enjoyed spending my time with my family even though it was a short one.
Already missing them. Can’t wait to be back home in June for a bit of traveling.
For the time being, I shall try lighting up my dampened sparkles. Perhaps, I just need some time to dry out my dampened spirits haha…
Flying around is tiring, but flying to anywhere with my family by my side is worth all the motion sickness and queasiness.
I blame the plane’s smell. The queasiness hits me by the time I step on the connecting bridge to the plane. I think I got to find a better smell to help me through this.
Anyway, spent a few days in Shanghai (lovely city, horrible road manners) and have not thought about my work for a few days. Surprisingly, I don’t have any sense of guilt though. I felt like any stress I had accumulated over the past few weeks is all gone in those four days.
So I guess taking a break once a while (or more if needed) is a great idea, especially when you are stuck in the PhD writer’s block cycle. I feel fortunate that I have a pretty flexible supervisory panel and they don’t have any problems leaving me by myself writing my thesis.
Don’t have to publish is also a plus. I don’t understand the pain for some of my colleagues who are stressed out with publishing but seeing their tired face (and battered brain) makes me reevaluate the academic profession as my future career pathway.
Not saying that the academic career is a lonely and a bleak-looking one. I just prefer to enjoy my work, rather than being stressed out about it all the time. I enjoy teaching though, so if there are good teaching positions (which does not put publishing as the main priority in career progress) I would definitely consider taking it.
Time to switch back to work mode! May the word flow in (from somewhere)!
It’s always good to spend time away from the office desk.
Felt much better after a four-day escapade with my family. On the first day I was still scrambling with words to write on the plane but slowly I shut my laptop, stow it away in the luggage, went off for day-trips and completely forgot that I have a PhD thesis to write.
Meeting up with my family gives me some burst of energy to get my thesis complete. Putting a goal to finish this quickly and making sure I don’t go crazy before then.
Reminding myself that I can finish an Honours thesis in less than 10 months. PhD thesis is nothing compared to that 10-month stint.
For now, I’ll cure my jet lag and get my brain switch back to work mode.
I’m nailing the Findings chapter for sure.
I’ll even work through Christmas and New Year if necessary.
Just so that I get to have a good holiday with my family in February!
Actually, I can’t wait to be back home and spend some quality time with my family. Birthdays are meant to be celebrated with my parents. I just miss them so much whenever my birthday comes around.
Haven’t celebrated my birthday with them for the past 6 years.
I miss getting presents from them and having nice meals with them.
And most importantly, miss the times when I don’t have to make any adult decisions.
Putting a brave adult face whenever I step out from my room is tough.
*sighs* let the typing continues.